EVERGREEN family: 4 months of Fitz

Just about one year ago - we learned we would be embarking on our greatest adventure yet. 

I’ll never forget the day I found out about you. I couldn’t quite believe it. I was overcome with a multitude of intense emotions —- mainly joy. It was that running down the stairs Christmas morning as an 8 year old-type of joy - raised to the millionth power. My entire life I had prayed for and anticipated the day I would finally become a Mom … and now … the Lord had given me one of the deepest desires of my heart. 

In the weeks and months to follow I’d hear your heartbeat, pick your name and feel you kick. Finally, four months ago, you came into this world and I held your hand for the first time. Again, I’d be overwhelmed by the Christmas morning - esque joy. 

This month you giggled. This month you fell asleep in my arms as I played the piano. This month you greeted me with a smile each morning. This month you outgrew an outfit. This month you celebrated your first Christmas with multiple new cousins. This month you fit into the snowsuit I bought you last January after we told our parents about you. You wore it for the first time yesterday. 

I believe the Lord is gracious enough to give us glimpses of heaven on Earth. He gives us these glimpses in “thin” moments as C.S. Lewis calls them. These thin moments are pleasures, places, experiences … burning bush type, holy moments where we experience God and feel snippets of his insurmountable splendor. They are different for everyone. I’ve experienced thin moments listening to music, spending time at the beach, dancing with my husband and now— living out motherhood. 

Yesterday I put you in your snowsuit and loaded up the dog. We walked by the river in the crisp morning air. I took you out of the stroller to look at the ducks in the river and you rested your head on my shoulder. I thought to myself “God is good”. It was a thin moment. 

The four months of a dream realized. Four months of a calling lived out. Four months of this gift of grace. Four months of smiles, cuddles and thin moments. Four months of Fitz showing me my need for a savior and just how precious, tender and compassionate his heart is for me. 

Always EVERGREEN,

Lillian